Fleas & Weddings

There is a dead mouse in my kitchen. It's very small; I think it's the baby of the family. It's in the "Guaranteed to Kill" mouse trap that my housemate bought and baited. She used peanut butter and a few pieces of fish food to bait it with. The fish food is apparently very delicious to our mouse family. The Summer was going great until we noticed the mice problem. Then it derailed further when I found out that there is a flea problem. I think the fleas are in my comforter. Who gets fleas? I don't even have a cat to blame it on. I have two bites close together under my chin, just at the point where my elegant neck begins. I also have 3 bites close together on the inside of my forearm. I thought it was a spider or a mosquito infestation, but apparently the several bites close together is a sure sign of fleas. Per my internet research, I will be washing and drying all bedding on high heat. In addition, I'm sprinkling carpeting with salt and vacuuming. I will also wash my floors with special soap and sprinkle liberally with boric acid to be on the safe side.

On a happier note, I'm reading a good Vampire book and I'm gearing up to attend two weddings this Summer. One is in Ithaca, NY. The second is in Madison, Wisconsin. The bride in Ithaca has unique and delightful fashion taste, so I can't wait to see what she and the wedding party are wearing. I haven't decided what I'm wearing to either wedding. I should probably go and do some push ups now, so I have buff arms for the weddings. I just read the book Why Girls Are Weird and it was the firs Chick Lit book I have read in awhile. It was very diverting and made me laugh out loud a few times. I strongly believe that women (chicks) should reclaim the phrase Chick Lit and give it a positive meaning, much as more oppressed minorities reclaim insulting words and phrases.

New Taste Sensations

Dear blog readers! I've neglected you shamelessly. In order to make it up to you, I'm going to tell you about a new taste sensation: 1) chew one stick of orbitz peppermint gum. 2) drink one raspberry emergen-C packet mixed with water. The result is the tast of a cherry cough drop.

Today is sunny and I feel trapped inside. I've eaten one cereal bar, one large helping of low fat plain yogurt, one amy's organic burrito, one large carrot (chopped), one half glazed cinnamon donut, one half chocolate frosted donut. I will eat and drink more later.

Culture Shock/ Cold Weather

Just returned from 12 days in Costa Rica. In a nutshell, Costa Rica is amazing, but it's the Disneyland of Central America. English is spoken everywhere and prices are higher than in other countries nearby. There are 12 ecosystems in the tiny country and I saw 3 types of monkeys while I was there. Also, the President has a plan in place that will make the entire country carbon neutral by 2021. I wore a lot of sunscreen and I have a light tan. I would wear less sunscreen next time, so I could have a dark tan. It's really mellow there and people seem to need fewer material possessions. I am inspired to clear out a bunch of my crap, so that I can easily fit my belongings into a small luxury shack on a tropical beach. That way I'm prepared for a sudden invitation from Fabio or what have you.

1) I traveled with Bob and Heidi, my favorite couple in the whole universe. I met Bob through acting in Madison, WI. I try to have them take me to Heidi's house up North every summer. It's secluded and wonderful.

2) First stop was Volcan Arenal. It's an active volcano which is very cool, but it's way too touristy. I don't recommend it. We also went to some natural hot springs there, which were warm. We saw an Aguatipaca and also a few Choati.

3) Second stop was the Monteverde Cloudforest region. We stayed in Santa Elena at the Pensione, which was pretty much a hostel with some private rooms. Free coffee and internet though! We toured an organic coffee farm and went to frog, bat and serpent museums. A Cloudforest is a rainforest at a high altitude. In the National Park we saw some howler monkeys, "the" famous Costa Rican bird that everyone wants to see which I am also not sure how to spell, a very cute frog and an armadillo. We also met the Quaker dude that moved there in the 50's to avoid the Korean draft. He opened a cheese factory and used to own the coffee farm we visited.

4) I just want to mention here that I was very excited to see hundreds of different butterflies and hummingbirds. All sorts of colors. The smallest hummingbird was most enjoyable. My favorite creature was the Owl Butterfly. It's actually a large moth that is so big it actually looks like a light brown hummingbird. It has a feathered tail like a hummingbird and a long probiscus that looks just like a hummingbird's beak. Also, it collects pollen the same way.

5) After 10 hours on two different buses, we arrived in Palmar Norte. After spending the night at the weird and super posh Brunka Lodge, we took a short bus to Sierpe and then a boat to our next destination. We had a beach landing and then hiked up into the jungle for 15 minutes to get to Cabinas el Mirador. This was a great hotel with meals and tours included; no electricity. We stayed there 5 nights. From there we went to Sirena which is an entrance to the Corcovado National Park, probably the densest rainforest in Costa Rica. That day we saw a spider monkey mother teaching her baby how to swing from tree branches. I got dehydrated this day and Heidi let me drink some of her dehydration salts. The day before we left the region we were walking on our own around 4pm and saw about 30 white faced capuchin monkeys. That was amazing. Two mothers with babies on their backs. I think a dog on the beach scared them, so they were all traveling in a pack to go deeper into the jungle. We went on an awesome night tour with a cute hipster named John and his hippie lady mentor Tracy. We saw the Smoky Jungle frog, the Tinc frog, the Trapdoor spider, the Net-making spider, cane toads, common jungle frogs, a walking stick and a tailless scorpion. When we went snorkeling near Cano Island, I saw two white-tipped reef sharks, a puffer fish and several colorful fish--I don't know what they were.

5) That's pretty much it. We spent one night in Alajuela, which is near San Jose and really close to the International Airport. It's a very cute town with a nice central square and cathedral.

6) I'm trying to readjust to NYC, but this would be a much easier process if I had acquired a darker tan.

Christmas Eve Morning

I am snuggled up in my brand new fuschia H&M angora sweater. It's probably meant to be a sweater dress, but I'm wearing it over black work-out pants and I think that looks good and is not too risque. I'm at my brother's house in NJ and I've just gobbled about 5 homemade chocolate chip cookies which I'm consuming with my first cup of coffee today.

I took the ole chinatown bus here today and it left NYC around 11am. I was planning to take an earlier one, but I'm glad I didn't. Some guys got on our bus after about 90 minutes of driving. They said they took the 7am bus from new york and the bus was stopped an an icy bridge for about 3 hours. Ugh. I was dropped at the Cherry Hill mall at 1:17pm where I immediately proceeded to browse. The place was packed, which eventually overpowered my pleasure in being a consumer.

Sam was already enroute to the airport to pick up our mother, so they came to pick me up around 2:30pm. I had ample time to eat half a food court mall wrap sandwich and buy some last minute gift supplements as well as treating myself to some sale sweaters and other items. In my included bag of "natural" potato chips there was a cube-like chunk of fried crispy potato product. I didn't eat it. I only ate half my wrap sandwich. Later in the car, my mother seemed crabby so I fed her the other half of my sandwich.

Now, all my presents are wrapped. I was far too generous this year. Hopefully, I shall receive as well as I give. I also hope Christams Day is this fantastic and filled with just as many delicious carbs.

My Buttermilk Biscuit Tastes Better Than Yours

Today I went to brunch at Dizzy's in Park Slope. I got the steak and eggs. In spite of the economic downturn, the place was steamy and packed. I ate at the counter all the way on the end by the cooks and the place the waiters pick up orders. I think I want to always eat in that spot. The head chef was very friendly to me. I finally accepted A-1 sauce from him to please him and allow his helpfulness. He said I was welcome to come to Dizzy's to eat anytime. In addition to the steak and eggs, I had homefries, homemade toast, a sliver of buttermilk pie, a grapefruit juice and coffee. Later I ate a chocolate crossaint, some lamb biryani, a mango lassi, a bowl of green tea yogurt ice-cream with chocolate chips, a bit of ginger biscotti and a buttermilk biscuit. I will eat more later.

Right now I'm in my friend's bedroom. He only wants to hang out there and it's fun, but a bit bleak. He reminds of those dissipated young gentlemen of the 19th century who have gambled away their inheritance. They are handsome and charismatic, but generally washed up from alcohol and other bad habits. Also, they are usually living beneath their means and borrowing money from the well-off relatives. In this case, he's from Pakistan and went to Brown. His fancy sisters married well, so sometimes they give him pin money to fritter away. New York is so diverse and wonderful.

San Pellegrino Limonata

I spent the entire week on the UES with Grandma Tina. I believe this makes me a super hero. My dad and my aunt called me from Argentina on last Sunday to arrange this. The Universe compensated me immediately. On Monday, I took the Chinatown bus back to NYC and I found 80 Liberty Bell stamps on the ground, in the crosswalk at Broadway and 90 something street. It made me so happy. I texted my brother about it immediately, but he didn't respond. Mama Barasch thought it was great, but she was a little jealous. Grandma Tina asked me to give her some. I reluctantly gave her one sheet of stamps. I had an obligation every night this week, so mainly I just slept over at my aunt and uncle's apartment where she is staying. I also had breakfast with her. She found something to complain about every morning. I was really happy when she claimed the toaster "didn't work. It's terrible." This is because it wasn't a personal attack on me.

Other early morning tirades included:

1) 8:15am Thursday: "Why did you drink all of Betsy's Limon drinks??" (I drank two.) She won't have any when she gets home. I said I would replace them. Grandma said I wouldn't be able to find them at a store. I found them in the first store I looked in.

2) 8:00am Thursday: "You can put those in the dryer. You don't have to air dry them. You are just wasting your valuable time. You are making too much extra work for yourself." I explained that the elastic on my delicates (underwear and socks and stockings) wears out quickly if I dry them in the hot dryer. (Repeat. Repeat. Repeat) My thought at the time was pure rage. Later, I wondered why she cares what I do with my laundry enough to yell about it. When I continued to ignore her as I laid 2 months worth of delicates on towels and hangers to dry in the Master bedroom, she eventually relented. (Yes, she followed me into this room to harrangue me.)

3) 8:35am Thursday: "Why do you have so much underwear? It looks like you have 2 months worth in there."

That's one morning. One more morning to go!!! And then I will happily return to Park Slope, Brooklyn.

Laying Low on Labor Day

I plan to be awake today for less than 12 hours today. Is that normal? Also, I'm pretty sure I snubbed my grandmother. She was supposed to call me when she arrived in Manhattan sometime today. Then we were going to have lunch. She specifically said that I should call her if she didn't call me. I didn't call her. I'm going to pretend that I was sick. In a way I was. I was suddenly hermetic.

I have the best cubicle at work. It has very good Feng Shui. A large red pillar; a protective filing cabinet; an expansive amount of space. It has a VERY cold vent that blows directly onto my head.. Last spring/early Summer, I was sick almost 1 day a week because of the gusty wind. I've finally convinced them to shut off the vent. The air still trickles out though and last week I was out sick. I blame the vent. Anyway, I wrap my head with a black pashmina to keep warm. Some people think I've converted to Islam. I wonder if that joke will eventually get old. I also change into thick cotton tights (white or black) and sport a cardigan or wool turtleneck. I look ridiculous and it's difficult to coordinate. I'm thinking about getting a space heater. I will not move cubicles unless the situation escalates.

Now that I'm really excited about going to work in my freezing cubicle tomorrow, I think I will write out my rent check and possibly watch the wretched Pushing Daisies online before bed.

Today I ate: One salami/turkey/goat cheese/arugula/onions/sprouts sandwich on ciabatta bread, mashed potatoes, kale, chicken soup, cottage cheese, 2 plums, one peach, one apple, homemade banana split, many chocolate cookies, milk, 1/2 dark chocolate bar.

Reluctant Update

I'm eating baby carrots right now. About 12 total. I've also eaten one green apple, one lara bar, one monte cristo panini. I plan to go get dinner before my rehearsal. I'm in a play! I'm also assistant directing a play. busy busy busy. I'm not planning to do much cooking this month, but I'm going to eat healthy anyway. Somehow. I was going to cook up some vegetables and brown rice last night, but I could not stir from my couch. I'm reading a trashy fiction novel by Lauren Willig. It's so good. I think I have rehearsal every night this week. I'm going to walk across Manhattan to the West side to go to Zen Palate.

I'm looking for typos in my blog header, but I'm not finding any. My aunt and uncle from New Bern, NC bought me brunch on Saturday. It was delicious and very swell to see them. My aunt thinks I should stop blogging, which has spurred this overdue update. Reverse psychology. Apparently it works on me.

Nesting and drinking water

Originally uploaded by almondprincess

It's 5:28pm. I'm at work. I'll be leaving work at 6:04pm. I'm thinking about stopping by the Security office. They always give the best dating/life advice. I also have to stop by and pick up some hair conditioner with zero alcohol content. Maybe I'll get some all natural shaving cream too.

Once in Park Slope, I will be picking up some carrots and sprouts and finding out what my status is at the Co-op. I'm still one work slot behind. That might make me suspended but hopefully I'm only on "work-alert," which means I can shop.

My other goal is to spend one hour cleaning up my parlor. My bedroom is sparkling clean and full of good feng shui. However, the "parlor" is bearing the brunt of that clean-up. Stay tuned for before and after photos.

In case you were worried about me from my last blog posting, don't fret. Dear old Fudge is taking care of me. (Inside-out penguin in the attached photo.) I'm drinking a lot of water because of the heat. I've eaten one package of animal crackers, 3 portions dark chocolate, one banana, one bento box containing teriyaki chicken, brown rice, pork dumplings, salad, miso soup, pickled yellow radish. More will be eaten later.

Also, what is going on with me breaking my own rules? There's a couple postings that mention a man (or men). Should I go back and edit those? I don't want to look hypocritical to my readers.

Today was not my favorite

Ick. I'm glad that it's 90 degrees and thunder storming. It suits my mood.

Last Friday at lunch, a cigarette butt fell from the sky. It was pretty great. I wonder what will happen at lunch tomorrow. I don't have much that I want to share with the world at this point, but I will do my best.

I just this second stubbed my toe on the chair, making my toe nail polish chip. My mom thinks I look better with my hair completely pulled up. It's sort of sexy librarian I guess.

Earlier today, I began cleaning up the clutter nightmare that is my bedroom. My life is ridiculous right now and it could be this darn clutter.

Today I ate: green tea soy ice cream, 4 cups kava kava, one tunafish sandwich with sprouts on spelt bread, 8 strawberries, approximately 14 baby carrots, hummus, 2 poached eggs, 3 slices spelt toast, 1.5 pieces of bacon, earl grey tea, water, a little chunk of my heart.

Just Under the 4 Week Wire

I came into work really early today. The Foreign Minister of Sri Lanka is here. I came in at 7:30am and there were already a few people waiting outside in the rain. My cash drawer had exactly $300 in it, which was exciting because it is supposed to have that amount. I was scolded by my colleague at the reception desk for only bringing down one cash bag. Why would I bring down two? Apparently, that is her new policy. However, she is not the boss of me. Hmph.

The amount of clutter and disarray in my apartment makes me very sad. It's bleak. I had to sleep on my couch last night, because I was too tired to put away the mounds of clothes on my bed. I also have to take out 3 weeks worth of recycling tonight.

In spite of the clutter, my life is going swimmingly. I'm handling this stressful time of year much more calmly then last year. My first play in NYC rocked off-broadway last month. I'm just resting on my laurels a bit now and living healthy.

Anatomically Correct Pig & Manhattan Debut

My first play in NYC closed last night. It was fantastic. I actually had ridiculous stage fright, but 2 out of the 3 shows went really well, and many friends and strangers complimented me. It was terrific for my ego.

I can't breathe out of my nose currently and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do about that. Usually, I have raw garlic chunks to suck on, but I'm not feeling that right now. I just want to be healthy! I want to go shop at my Co-op, but I'm behind 2 workslots, so I'm tearing through my dry and frozen foods right now.

Also, I bought my dad some presents because he did something nice recently. One of the presents is a carved wooden pig. The thing is that "she" is anatomically correct with a full set of teats and a big vulva. Is it weird that I think that's inappropriate? I'm just not sure if it will do as a thank you present anymore. Luckily, I over-purchased a bit and so the pig is now staring at me from across my desk until I decide what to do.

Valentine Vomit

Well not to brag or anything, but I did receive 7 valentine offerings this year....

I was walking home from the train last night around 12:50am and I had to side-step past a pile of vomit. It was of the clear not-the-most-disgusting variety, but nonetheless, I was fairly repulsed. A drunken single most like. I had a very decent Singles Awareness Day this year. No major pleasure, but also no major disappointments.

Also, I did receive an early faux-valentine gift of a mix tape from a mixed up man which contains: Duran Duran, Men Without Hats, Queen "Staying Power," David Bowie "Sorrow," and yes that's right folks.... "Hello" by Lionel Richie. It's pretty amazing and I had to commandeer a cassette walkman from my assistant in order to listen to the tape at normal volume. Major Good Times.

Today I bought 24 ounces of Sour Patch Kids today.

We Are Not Response For Your Belonging

We Are Not Response For Your Belonging. Brilliant. I was taking the Chinatown bus from NYC to Philadelphia last night and I noticed this psychologically deep sign posted in the front of the bus. It was a great trip. I fell soundly asleep for 2 and 1/2 hours and woke up in South Jersey. This time I asked them to drop me off at the Cherry Hill mall and my brother drove to the mall to pick me up. It's only 15 minutes from his house in Collingswood, NJ. I was going to go inside the mall and meet him at Old Navy. However, I was too freaked out by the hoards of sullen pre-teens exiting the mall. The mall seemed closed and was almost 10pm. I looked inside Macy's and there were 6 sales people talking to eachother and glaring at me through the doors. I decided to go to Bertucci's, a mediocre chain restaurant. I hadn't had dinner, so I ordered the baked chicken and cheese tortellini. It was pretty disgusting, because of it's rich cream sauce, but I ate it anyway. They gave me 3 warm dinner rolls, which were delicious. I dropped one of them on the ground outside. I put it back in the To-Go bag and later threw it out in my brother's garbage.

This morning I woke up at 7:37am and noticed that I had a mysterious voice mail with a 415 area code. It was a sober dial from Practice Soulmate #1. Not sure if I will call him back; he gave me the radio silence for the past 2+ years. Very strange. Also, yesterday at 5pm, I had the most wonderful healing session at The Brand Wellness Center. It was so great. The practitioner used clairvoyance and Neuro-Linguistic Programming on me. The session was specifically on clearing up my fears/blockages regarding meeting a great guy and having a fulfilling romantic relationship. We also addressed my acting career. So.... wonderful things are on the way. Amazing. This guy called me right after that session. I also received an email from a director/writer that I admire--right after that session. My life is really getting on track and I definitely thank myself for my courage in all my growth and changes. The healing sessions and New Age splurges are making a great difference. Watch out world.

I just ate 6-7 Samoa cookies and a large glass of milk. Earlier I had the leftover tortellini with grilled chicken, 4 pancakes, 2 sausages, 2 cups of coffee, 1 cup of Phoenix Oolong tea, water, 5-8 wheat thins, humus, 4 slivers red pepper. I'm craving tater tots or fish and chips because I'm reading a novel that takes place in England. The heroine just had fish and chips at a cafe. I always want to eat what the characters eat. Yummy.

Bad Girl

Please don't ever call me a "Good Girl." I'm sure that is the worst verbal mistake on earth. I'm the Maid of Honor for my friend's wedding next July. I was riding in the back of her fiancee's jeep truck SUV and he said, "You printed out all the Map Quest directions? From the hotel to the reception and back again?" She said: "Yes." He said: "Good Girl!"

I was choking on that one. I thought I would puke, but at the same time I was grateful for the free ride to central Illinois, so I kept my mouth shut. I do my best not to be a good girl. One of the ways in which I'm bad is waiting 6 weeks to update my blog. Dear readers: please note that I will make no promises I can't keep, but I will in future attempt to update this blog once a month.

I'm taking an acting class at Breakthrough Studio. I've been drinking more scotch. Vodka hangovers give me an accelerated heart rate included in the hang over, so I'm making the switch to brown alcohol. We'll see how that goes. I've been dressing up a lot more and wearing more makeup. I recently bought a pop-up book of Hindu altars. It's very amazing. This morning I have it opened up to Lakshmi; she increases prosperity, abundance, fame, beauty, purity and grace. Good times!

No More Baby Carrots

Today so far I have eaten nothing. I have drank a little Takashimaya black tea with roses. So good. I have a package of full size carrots, but no babies. I was asking my vegan friend for advice on cooking Tilapia over the phone as I shopped on Sunday afternoon at Back to the Land. She advised me to buy the full size carrots as the babies are mechanically extruded and are, thus, worse for the environment. Has my love affair with baby carrots come to an end?? How depressing!

Before work I plan to 1) shower 2) get dressed up for the 25 art openings I'm going to tonight 3) pack an outfit for Sonja Eklund to wear tonight 4) eat breakfast 5) shave a carrot and bring it to work in a small bag

At work I plan to 1) work 2) send off 10-20 resumes and headshots to acting jobs 3) polish up my day job resume 4) look for new day jobs online 5) be nice to my co-workers 6) clean out the bowels of my desk 7) take a long lunch break

I had a dream last night that a director (with an Eastern European name) emailed me to schedule an audition. All these non-pay films are "audition by appt. only," which is ridiculous because they are unpaid. I also had a dream that I was driving around my car (which doesn't exist in reality) and craving ice cream. I went to dairy queen.

Went to see the psychic Geotran practitioner last week. She said I'm going to be leaving to work on a film in Europe sometime this Fall. However, I have to start applying for jobs NOW in order to book that job. Yes!! Also, I'm soon going to be the proud owner of 3 eco-friendly apartments, all with an outdoor space of some kind and at least one will have a garden. One is in Rome, one in Manhattan and one in El Lay. Kudos to me!

Going To Bed Early

I didn't make it to the gym today, nor did I make it to a yoga class. In spite of this, I did have an unusually productive day today. I did freelance work for four hours and I took care of some necessary internet chores. I took a shower and I fed myself: 12-14 baby carrots, two gooey wheat-free chocolate maroon fudge cups, one quinoa black bean vegetable salad, spicy mac & cheese with prosciutto, tuna, peas and broccoli, milk, blackberry soda, one bag greasy popcorn.

I'm currently watching What Women Want and I am not proud of that fact. I also watched parts of The Wedding Date and The Perez Family. It was a busy day. Yesterday I paid all my bills and did some online banking. I've been eating too much sugar lately. It's making me emotionally volatile. More whole grains, less sugar = happy, stable Sarah.

Last weekend, I taught my niece and nephew how to say Cyclops. I was alone with them on the 2nd floor of my brother's house and I felt obligated to entertain them to keep them from tumbling down the stairs. I was putting in my contacts and May and Ben toddled into the bathroom after me. To keep them rapt, I explained what contacts were for as I put them in my eyes. As I was putting in the second contact, I informed them that I have two contacts because I have two eyes, one contact for each eye. However, not everyone has two eyes. "Do you know what they call someone who has one eye? A Cyclops." These poor kids don't know their Greek mythology yet. I'm relieved to discover that I have plenty of fresh ancient stories to keep them interested in Aunt Sawah. May learned Cyclops very well and we were also able to teach Benjamin how to say Cyclops, although it sounded a bit like "Ky-Kops."

Rats and Promises

Three days ago, I was planning to go the gym. There is a pseudo-pilates class there that I love. It's pseudo because it's called Ballet Body Yoga Mind, but it also incorporates many of the moves of Pilates, yoga and ballet training. I like it; the teacher is a very chill Park Slope woman with undyed hair and baggy clothes. She is soothing. However, I have not been to the gym in several weeks and I felt very tired and hungry. With the excuse of my healing sprained foot I decided to curtail my plans and walk over to read in Prospect Park until dusk, then grocery shop and eat.

On my way to the park, I passed the Grand Army Plaza park which is actually very forest-like and dense. It's also a rat paradise land. I saw several rats crawling in and out of the fence cruising over to the wire garbage cans. One garbage can had SEVEN rats crawling in and out of it and up and down it. My mother once said that rats are the wild animals of NYC. With the addition of pigeons, I would concur. Anyhow, I sat on one of the park benches (as far away from the garbage as I could position myself) and read my copy of A Streetcar Named Desire. The garbage can on the other side of the park bench had about four rats crawling in and out of it. Five pages later, a jogger came by and she was side-tracked by the number of rats. She was very disgusted. I laughed aloud and realizing that I was appearing insane, I decided to give up my attempt to brave the rats for my piece of wilderness and forge ahead to the Park Slope Food Co-op.

There I learned that my Work Alert had transformed itself into a Suspension, but I did have a 2 week grace period to shop in. Awesome. I felt a little stressed out by this circumstance, so I have promised myself that I will do my make-up shift this Monday night after my regularly scheduled monthly shift as a "Food Processer." Food Processing is a nice shift for me, because you lurk in the basement and weigh almonds, tea, dried fruit and slice cheese. Then you package everything and weigh and label it. It's fairly boring, but you are not around the frenetic shoppers and sometimes you can illegally sample food. I am very responsible and usually I don't miss my shift, because I obey rules.

I missed my last Food Processing shift because I was on a wedding odyssey. I went to my cousin's wedding in Sun River, OR. It was an incredibly fun wedding. Stay tuned for the upcoming blog entry giving you exclusive coverage of the Kelly-Michael wedding. I've been to 4 weddings this year. So far. And there's a fifth one that happened today in Chicago, however I couldn't make that one. I also went to Andrea Schripsema's wedding near Bloomington, IL. She didn't have a wedding website for her wedding, but she did have boat rides on a lake and a campfire. We've known each other since we were infants. I owe my readers many blog entries, and I solemnly promise to do some make-up blog entries that will take you back in time to cover some of the weeks of my life you have missed out on. (Insert emoticon of tounge sticking out here.) One thing, I should confess is that I have become a chat monster. If you're on gmail, won't you IM with me?

Update From The Beach

I'm out at the pink castle today. The pink castle is where Grandma Tina lives. A lot of authentic Long Islanders live here too. After lunch today I went to the beach and felt very unusual because of my pale skin and lack of a loud family. I saw a young pair arrive and settle very close to my spot. The girl was talking fairly loudly on her cell phone, but I managed to concentrate mainly on my novel, The Devil Wears Prada, and only marginally on her conversation. She was sorry she had missed someone's birthday, etc., etc. She had a very scratchy sultry voice. Many long island women do. Next to her, the guy (early 20's), was not thin and smoked a cigar. At first I thought they were a couple, but later I thought they could just have easily been brother and sister. A mom-like person arrived along with several other adults over the age of 40. When a blond woman with a very pink headband and matching swimsuit (50ish in age) shifted her chair to face the sun and me, I was forced to consider my relocation options. She was unbelievably loud. Most long islanders should really consider voice training as a career option; they are sooooo loud. (No offense meant, Sara Yaz.) They could really teach quiet actors to use their diaphragms.

I always feel a bit surreal when I'm out at the pink castle beach house. I feel incredibly single, even though I'm not any more single than I am normally. Family situations tend to heighten my present conditions and general outlook on life. I have to scrounge up joyful stories and interesting job tidbits. I had a glimpse of my dad's sandaled feet today. I think I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: He has had his big toenails surgically removed. It is disgusting. His shriveled raw and ragged naked big toes are perhaps one of the most repulsive things a spoiled rich American might have to view in any given Summer.

Last night I ate 3 pecan rolls, from a tray of 8 pecan cinnamon rolls for 79cents. I felt slightly guilty, but mostly I relished them for four reasons. 1) It was midnight. 2) There was no brown rice available. 3) I used to eat them all the time before the age of 20. I purchased them from Piggly Wiggly. 4) They tasted delicious despite the slightly metallic taste. Today I ate: poached salmon with onions, roasted lamb, italian sausage, prosciutto, mozzerella with tomato, broccoli rabe, red wine, pink bubbly wine, white wine, one sliver zucchini, red peppers, grilled onions, pickled onions, tuna, dark green salad, warm gooey baked brie, water, yellow pepper, and now I have to sign off to see what's for dessert.

Hippie Traumas

Last night I was over-charged at the co-op by over $6. This is the third mistake the volunteer cashiers have made in the 9 months I've belonged there. Basically, I bought two individual extra-ginger beers (perfect hangover cure) and should have been charged 83 cents each. The cashier charged me $3.89 each (for two 4 packs). Unfortunately, I didn't notice until I arrived home, so I will have to deal with it another day. It's ironic because I thought my total actually seemed low on my groceries. Oh well. The real stickler is that according to the new age tenets I believe in, I create my own world, so I attracted the cashier's mistakes into my life.

My Geotran pseudo-therapist called me a bitch the other day. It was traumatizing. This was after a 2 hour session of aura cleansing, so I felt giddy and vulnerable. I was like: "What?" She said: "You can't deny it can you? There is a bitchy energy there." Understandably, I got a bit defensive. The door to her office was actually open and I was about to leave. Who would bring up an issue like that as I'm about to leave her office? It was awful. I defended my "bitchy energy" for awhile. I said it was part of my personality and I wouldn't change it for anyone. She said that she didn't see it as part of my personality. I said that I didn't think there was any way a woman could function safely in the world without a little bit of empowering prickly bitchiness. She said that this hypothetical wonderful man (smarter, funnier, more successful than me) who may be coming into my life in a couple of months would not be attracted to bitchy energy. Okay, fine. Sign me up for another session. Seriously, I may have to send her an email of some kind, because there was a little too much brutal truth-telling in this session for me. She also called me out on my narcissism and desire to be the star person in any given group of people (friends/couples/etc.). I do have a tendency to get jealous of successful, happy people living their dreams. I'm thinking that will fade as I start on that road myself, but it was jolting to have her try to rush me along. I mean, would you still like me if I had no sassy bitch energy? C'mon tell me the truth.

Today, I am watching Turner Classic Movies. _The Cowboy and the Lady_ is on and it's not that great. In black and white movies, it seems like women tend to confess their love to cowboys and bums and the man decides to marry them. That is not the real world. In the real world, I think most women wait for the man to confess it first. And, I agree it's wise to wait. I hope that I can still be considered a feminist.

For lunch today I ate: brown rice, throat coat tea, ginger tea, one chicken haunch, 6 baby carrots, 1 plum, dark chocolate with dried cherries and almonds, dried currants, dried pineapple. I drank some Walborne too. I don't think Walborne has the same shelf life as Airborne. My Walborne today and yesterday tasted a bit funky. That's annoying because
I stocked up on Walborne last Spring.

The Winter Palace

I have spent four amazing days in Northern Wisconsin near Upper Michigan and Lake Superior. Heidi & Bob picked me up at the O'hare airport and drove us many many hours to Heidi's family's house. We arrived around 3:30am. I slept most of the way and felt extra spoiled because Heidi & Bob also delivered me to my mother's doorstep at the end of the trip (4+ hours out of their way).

I slept and read _The Last Days of Dogtown_ by Anita Diamant. We canoed at night and at sunset and during the day. It was very relaxing and rejuvenating. There is a nice beach there and many gorgeous trees. I can now recognize a loon's call. We saw cranes perched in pine trees; it resembled a traditional Chinese watercolor.

Heidi fattened me up with many delicious carrot spelt muffins, brown rice, soft tacos with cactus and mushrooms, black beans, white bean Israeli salad, soy ice cream, chocolate tofu pie, brown rice pilaf with pistachios and currants, bbq tempeh sandwiches, sprouts, salad, root beer floats, red wine and beer.

Dead White Men

Is it possible that I have outgrown chick lit.? This would be a heinous tragedy as it has been one of my mainstays for years. Hopefully, I am just temporarily not in the mood.

I was reading Melissa Bank's "The Wonder Spot" which I find better than "A Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing," however I haven't been able to bring myself to finish it yet. I found some great books in my neighbor's garbage as well. I've been reading "The Boy Next Door," which is a novel written entirely in the email form. As soon as the book seems to start developing a happy ever after ending, I seem forced to put it down. This is puzzling to me since, I decided in 1999 that I would only read books with happy endings because it made my real life bearable. I do make the occaisional exception, such as for "The Virgin's Knot," which rocked my world. I also decided to limit my ingestion of books by Dead White Men. I especially hated Dickens. But the BBC dramatizations of Dickens are really winning me over. Characters like Mr. Guppy and Mr. Smallweed. Good stuff. Well, I suppose life is fluid and maybe I am now able to branch out into new genres. I've always wondered if I could read Hemingway now and like it. I liked him in high school, but I'm quite afraid if I go back to H. now, my feminism would crush my illusions and fond memories.

I've been off caffeine for a few weeks now and it is quite difficult to go to work when one is caffeine free. It's also challenging to clean one's desk/home and to complete tasks that are not inspiring to your soul. Hmph. I may have to remind my soul that it is unnatural to live in filth and that bills must be paid. Or maybe I'll just up my caffeine level. I saw an interesting pop up today on the internet advertising a patch that will shoot caffeine into your skin and your bloodstream. Is it cheaper than a double iced latte? I don't know.

One Green Apple

Wow. I have neglected my blog for about a month. More importantly, I have neglected you: my readers. Let me reward you by letting you know that today I have eaten: 6 baby carrots, 2 stalks celery, 2 slivers of full-size carrots, appetizers of slivers of tuna with wasabi mayo on tortilla chips, similar appetizers of miniature rare beef on white bread, grilled zucchini & eggplant, quinoa, brown rice, wild rice, goat cheese, one smallish portion of chicken breast, one portion chicken quesadilla, prosciutto, salami, pineapple, one banana, zero apples, ginger tea, one glass of tangy white wine.

I went to see the dedication of my aunt's portrait at the NYC Bar Association tonight. It has left me hungry yet proud. She is the second woman to be a President of the Bar Association and she has trillions of other impressive accomplishments too. Following the ceremony and reception there was a second reception across the street at the Harvard Club. This was my second time this week at the Harvard Club. The HC makes me think that I forgot my twin sweater set at home or that I am an idiosyncratic extra in a Gilmore Girls episode.

One of the evening's highlights was when I found out that my dad had called my cousin and left a tender, sweet Mother's Day message on my cousin's voice mail. No, my cousin is not his mother. His mother is staying at my other cousin's apartment, hence the wacky mix-up. Speaking of my grandmother, she has actually turned off the voice mail function at the apartment she stays at. She says that people can just keep calling her until they reach her. With no flashing light on an "answering machine," she was not remembering to check the voice mail in a timely manner. If you work with the public, you may have the same begrudging attitude toward no-answering-machine people that I have. However, I sweetly told her that she was a VIP, so it was fine with me to go the extra mile.

You may wonder what happened to the apple. Why is it a zero apple? I am a firm believer in the Apple a Day policy. As the Harvard Club feminist after-party was winding down, the waiter begin to wheel away the ornate mounds of fruit, cheese and meats. The succulent green apples I had been eyeing were about to escape. I had been trying to overcome the inappropriateness of me chomping into a big green apple in a room full of business women versus the inappropriateness of me taking the green apple and putting it in my purse. My aunt saved the day. As they were wheeling the cart away, she said "Wait, wait, hold on!" and chose a morsel of bread and brie to avail herself of. Under the cover of this distraction, I plucked my green apple from the cart and placed it in my purse.

9:55pm - taking the F train home. One homeless man specifically asked for money and apples, fruit, a sandwich. I gave him my green apple. I am usually not into generosity, but well the Zen meditation must be working and that dude is one apple richer.

Notes from the Narrow Apartment

I can't believe it, but I'm actually considering watching _Wishmaster 2: The Evil Never Dies_
That is just wrong. Anonymous--please don't knock the whales. And... no, I don't want urinals, I want a bidet--just one. No urinal in the home. Just like you to totally miss the point.

I'm tired. I'd like to call my brother, but I'm too bitchy/hungry/tired. Instead I will vomit on the computer. Then, I'll eat something light and go to bed. I just found out that Sumo wrestlers eat large meals right before bed, in order to gain weight. That's not my game plan.

I'm not going to work tomorrow. Yeaa! Why do I always feel like I'm spelling yeaa and yeah wrong? It's just one of those things. I'm a bit buzzed from 2 small glasses of australian wine. I went to an australian film shorts program at work and it was funny, but much darker than it was last year. It feels like Jon Stewart is all commercials now. I'm giving up on paragraph breaks. My last posting was a bit obnoxious. I shall have to try to be a more humble future movie star.

I am excited to see Blades of Glory. I wish people could do things last minute and not have to "plan" all the time. Do you think it's wierd that _Planet of the Apes_ is on at 3am on a Sunday morning? That movie is just wrong, but also wierdly appealing and magnetizing.

How Soon Will I Be Famous?

Originally uploaded by almondprincess.

It's an honest question. Finally, I have all my headshots done. They are super fabulous and they should be, because I have paid a pretty penny. It has taken 5 months from the day of the shoot and I finally have all the jpg's and the prints. What took so long? It's hard to say exactly, but my oddyssey is not yet over. One of the images has a grey splotch on my arm, so I have to nag the photographer to re-touch that...

Anyway, this is probably my best headshot and is going to make me a famous commercial actor. Do you have a film project I can audition for?

Whales Feel Like Wet Tires

Me petting a wild baby whale
Originally uploaded by almondprincess.

The caption says it all. I miss the baby whale. When we were petting its mother, the baby whale actually stuck its head out of the water and took a little nip on the edge of the boat - right where I was sitting. As if to say: "Leave my mother out of this! Pay attention to me!" or "Don't touch my mother! Only I get to play with her!" Anyhow, it is absolutely impossible to stay in a bad mood when there are pictures of me petting whales around. It makes one feel all warm and gushy inside.

Does anyone enjoy a hot bath with epsom salts. I do. It's so great. I've also been know to dump powdered ginger and other strange oils and powders into a bath. It's killer on drains, but that's why I rent! Anyhow, the new apartment is not great on producing hot water. So, the only time I can fill a bath with hot water seems to be exactly 7:00pm. I won't be home until about 7:30 or 8pm tonight, so I won't get to soak. Most tragic. Sometimes I will boil pots of water on the stove to dump into the bath tub, but it works about as well as it sounds. My dream bathroom would have a bidet and a very deep tub with copious amounts of hot water. Did anyone read the article on urinals in the NY Times recently? I definitely don't want an artisanal urinal in any bathroom I own. Where is the companion article on bidets, mister liberal ny times?

I'm planning to have my 30th birthday in Tulum, Mexico. Will you be coming to celebrate? My mother and Marianne Jackson will be there for sure and they are always rowdy at parties. The thing is, no one told me that Mexico is kind of a shitty country. Well, it will be cheap and there will be Mayan ruins and sunny beaches.

Feng Shui Fuck Up

Balloon Art
Originally uploaded by almondprincess.

As some of you may know, I recently took a wonderful Feng Shui class with R.D. Chin at the Open Center. It's 5 elements Feng Shui and one of the main premises of that school is the power of intention. If you arrange your home in a Feng Shui manner and believe that having two bedstands, two chairs, two lamps and two of everything in your bedroom will attract a relationship, than the power of your belief/intention infuses your life and brings about the happy result.

So.... I've been working on Feng Shui-ing my apartment as much as I can. Rose Quartz in my relationship corner. Movie star post cards in my career corner. 2 of everything in the bedroom. I had done some careful decoration in my bedroom's relationship corner, when I thought I successfully attracted myself a new suitor. However, I put up a "Sex-starved Hell Cat" retro pulp fiction postcard, which might have been not so wise. (Sex-starved implies single or unsatisfied.) Then I put up some pictures of 1970's male models in their underwear on the beach. I had mixed feelings about whether these would attract a positive relationship or attract strange tan sleazy men. Then.... came my big Feng Shui Fuck Up.

Saturday night, I was looking forward to a second date the upcoming Tuesday. I mean, really looking forward to it. I met my friend at a bar and his lovely girlfriend joined us at last call. She was fresh from a Bachelorette party, where she had picked up some inspiring balloon art. She gave me one! I was extremely grateful and decided I would put it in my relationship corner. I thought it might amuse/intimidate my potential new suitor. Well.....let's just say, there is definitely not a new suitor anymore. Merely, a brief/pleasant moment in time.

Anyhow, I realized that perhaps the giant black phallic symbol was to blame. In fact, it had performed some metaphysical intimidation on an alternative plane of existence and scared off "a really great guy." Or did it? Anyhow, it's so nice to think this was not a Romantic Fuck Up, but in fact a tragic Feng Shui Fuck Up.

I have since popped the offending yet lovely balloon art, destroying it's evil powers. I will be careful with my Feng Shui corners (especially my relationship corner) in the future.

AM New York

I am taking an acting class on Tuesday mornings now, so I need to do various things to make up the time at work. I came in early today to be the Receptionist for an Asian diversity brainstorming meeting. Apparently there were tech issues, so everyone had to wait in the Lobby until 8.29am. Not the greatest situation. Nobody likes to wait. Especially not suits and really trashy semi-homeless people. Everyone played nice though. Maybe I am just mis-reading their serious manners.

The absolutely great thing about coming to work this early, is that there are no AM New York hawkers. I hate getting the free newspapers shoved in my face. There is a new lady/man that bellows "AM New York" in a very sing song-y wretched way. It makes me cringe. I think that happens at prime commute time from 8:45am to about 10am at my exiting subway stop for work. Do you also dread the Metro/AM/PM New York newspaper handler? It's irritating and really not even great examples of the written English language. The questions are: Which free daily paper is the least horrible? Why do liberals read the New York Post? Of the weeklies, NY Press is the most punk rock, but very remedial. The Village Voice is decent, but not as useful as Time Out, which unfortunately is not free.

I am getting a pink warning banner that says I am not connected to blogger and my post may not save. I hope that is a lie! Is it possible to alleviate stress in a social manner or to celebrate without alcohol? Well, there is always kava kava. I had 3 beers last night and I feel wretched today. I also woke up with an accelerated heart rate and it is still more rapid than usual. Not a great feeling. No more alcohol. No more caffeine. How can I be true to my hedonistic values?

Dissed via India/Bushian Time Change, etc.

I have this awesome holistic health counselor. She is helping me re-shape my life into something healthier and even more wonderful than it was before. She is studying in India and gives me two consultations by phone each month and unlimited email access. We had an appointment for tonight at 9pm. 50 minutes of phone conversation and if I am not in a quiet peaceful place (my apartment), she will notice and scold me a little. After one reschedule we were set for tonight. I forgot about it and said that I would attend the Gateway school benefit auction and dinner with Grandma Tina and my aunt and uncle. Good food and wine and I was outbid at every turn for the silent auction. I left early and took a cab home, so I could be in a quiet place by 9pm sharp. I call the cell phone. No answer. Is the time change to blame? I had emailed to let her know about the time change and offer to adjust. No response. I'm kind of annoyed actually. I called again at 10pm (the old 9pm). No answer and no healthful counseling. Dissed. Snap!

Whatever. I'm still pissed about the TV death in my life. I am in mourning. On a lighter note, I'd like to bring up an example of the magic of blogging. About 30 seconds after my last blog posting, I received an incoming phone call on my cellular phone from the person that I referenced as not calling me in the blog posting. Magical.

Do you think there will be a time when harsh anti-bacterial hand soap will become a relic of the past? I hope it is soon. We have this green sludge that oozes out at work. This lady at work asks girls to donate to a Bath and Bodyworks classier anti-bacterial soap fund. It's not as nasty, but it is still anti-bacterial, which is drying and ignorant. I usually don't use either of these soaps, so I don't donate to the fund. I have my own gentle liquid handsoap for work. It's Jason's organic lavender and it is also supposed to wash away contamination from alien life forms and evil crazy maniacs too. What more could you want in a hand soap? I would like to see some Dr. Bronner's hand soap everywhere. It could be as cheap as whatever soap conglomerate controls our public soap lives. The open center claims to be a conscious organization, yet they offer the harsh pearly white anti-bacterial hand soap. I've been busier lately and I may take an acting class. I may be forced to use the anti-bacterial hand soap in public restrooms more because of my "on the go" lifestyle. I do sometimes bring a tiny pot of Burt's Bees orange facial scrub around with me. It makes a great gentle hand soap for the dive bar bathroom that has no soap. I worry about my cuticle health. Do you?

Vacation Recovery

MexicoCactus1
Originally uploaded by almondprincess.

Today is another day and I'm recovering from Mexico. Look how big that cactus is. You can't really tell from this photo but they were over 70 feet high. A forest of cacti. The bases of the cacti were just like trunks of old trees. Truly wonderful. I also got to pet whales in the San Ignacio Lagoon. This is a pre-whale photo and you might be able to tell that I had spent the night before in a cheap and skanky San Quintin hotel. There was mold on the wall by my bed and the sheets were thin thin thin. Gabe looked at his bare mattress and saw blood stains. Yum.

A sad thing happened tonight: I had to dump out a barleywine style ale, because I didn't like it. There should be someone in my apartment that would like it and would drink it for me.

I've noticed that a craving for an iced coffee, cafe au lait, cafe mocha, latte or iced decaf coffee can be stronger than a craving for that someone to call you on the phone. Surprisingly strong actually. Strong. Boy, did I want a coffee drink after lunch today. I wanted that beverage much more than I wanted that phone call. I had neither. I am trying to cut back on caffeine and sugar. The sugar part is insurmountable, so I think I will finish off all the delicious treats in my home, before even considering cutting back on sugar. It's supposed to alleviate all of my problems, PMS, mood swings, dry skin, etc., etc.

I am watching the Big Sleep. It's not very riveting, so I think I will go to sleep soon. Last night I watched I Heart Huckabees. That is a brilliant film. It was so weird and sometimes boring, but I couldn't stop watching it. Riveting. I was a little disappointed in the new Robin Hood series on BBCA. I'll watch it even though it's schmaltzy. And finishing my TV update: I cried twice during the newest Battlestar Galactica episode Sunday night. Fuck, I'm starting to well up just thinking about it.

My Imaginary 1960's Prom

greendress1
Originally uploaded by almondprincess.

This photo was taking circa Fall 2005 after my head injury. My ex-roommate did the photo shoot and I look fairly awkward in every photo. The head injury is explained in detail in my friendster blog post: Unattractive Head Injury. I was walking down 3rd Avenue toward St. Marks Place and crashed my forehead into a control box. That takes talent beyond normal clumsiness. It created a hematoma that spouted blood. You can see the bump on the right side of my forehead. I kind of have a scar which will hopefully not impede my impending jump to movie star status.

Back to the present time. I'm sitting in the Valley at my cousin's lovely house, drinking tea with sugar and milk. I'm doing the Breakfast Experiment, so that's all I'm having for breakfast today. More on the Breakfast Experiment at a later date. I'm having a lovely vacation and sadly today is the last day. I have to drive to Long Beach and fly back to Brooklyn today. I can't remember where I work or what my job is, which has never really happened on a vacation before. It's a fabulous feeling. If I remember those details, I think I will go in to work tomorrow.

I've been eating fabulous meals cooked by my cousin's fiancee, who is British, likes the color red and has never cooked my cousin the same meal 2 times. !! I went to a Core Fusion class on Monday in Santa Monica and my butt was in xtreme pain afterwards. Luckily my cousin Ted had Aleve. They also let me use their scotch tape while I was here and may give me a tote bag.

Is it post-modern of me to use photos that are not relevant at all to my blog entry's current news value?

I stared into the eye of a baby whale last week. Camping and whale-petting in San Ignacio Lagoon, Baja Sur, Mexico. Mexico is pretty nasty, but whale-petting is super amazing.

In The Bath

A lady left the box office a voice mail message yesterday. I called her back and she said she couldn't pay for her ticket because she was "in the bath." "Okay, I hope you don't get electrocuted," I replied. She did want me to read her the names and descriptions for the seven speakers for the event. She also wanted me to put her on hold to attempt to approve a free ticket for her 9 year old daughter. It was incredible. She mentioned 3 times that she was in the bath. Next time, I plan to transfer it to my assistant and say: "Paul actually takes all of our phone calls from naked people. I'll transfer you."

Do you ever where skirts and does this happen to you? As I'm walking around the NYC, my skirt often gets completely turned around. How does this happen? And why did it only start happening to me after I moved to this town?

I miss my boyfriend sculpture

guard1
Originally uploaded by almondprincess.

Okay--picture 12 of these over-sized security men staring at me all day long in the Spring of 2004. When I worked full time at the sweet sweet reception desk, we had an amazing installation from the New Zealand artist Michael Parekowhai in the Lobby. He was inspired by a 3am meeting with his brother at Burger King. Apparently his brother worked as a security guard and looked like these lovely non-confrontational sculptures/boyfriends of mine. (Sigh). I still miss them.

As far as anonymous goes--1) You aren't so anonymous-Paul Whitney. 2) The english language is constantly evolving and soon all y'all bitches are going to spell ascerbic like me.

The bad news is I can't figure out how to post on this fucking blog unless I do it through flickr. The good news is you'll get to see lots of pictures of me this way.

Today, I applied for a Battlestar Galactica Mastercard. Oh, yeah, I'm totally geeked out. I watch SciFi channel and BBCA until I can't see straight. But only, the really goey shows: Footballer's Wives, Hex, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1, Doctor Who, made for tv movies with flying reptiles.

But the sweet geeky Mastercard will also let me transfer my balance with no interest for 6 months and I may get the first season on DVD of Battlestar Galactica as a free bonus. Life is good after all.

My niece broke one glittery fish magnet that belongs to my roommate. I'm going to superglue repair it. That's a pretty small amount of carnage-- and fixable. She also slept in my bed one night, woke up at 5am and said something unintelligible. It turns out she said "Tissue please." I understood it the second time and gave her a tissue. Her father then came in and scooped her up to go sleep with her parents. It turns out, the poor princess had a bloody nose, because my apartment is so dry. Very impressive and must take after her mother as she was very mannerly about the whole situation.

My grandmother tried to teach me to say Thank you and please and it didn't stick so well. I was served some vegetable while visiting them in Florida and I said "I hate it!". She said, "Sarah, you should say thank you or please." I replied: "I hate it, thank you very much."

SubwayBee vs. Urban Outfitters

SubwayBee
Originally uploaded by almondprincess.

Or, really: I Can't Work My Own Blog. I've decided that if I want more than 32 people to view my blog, I've gotta put some photos on my profile. However, I can't figure that out this afternoon and I have to go do battle with Urban Outfitters. I have managed to figure out how to add photos to my blog postings though.

And, I have been callous/shameless with the proliferation of Friendster non-date stories. They represent over 2% of my total blog entries. So here's the photo backstory: This is my halloween costume last year. SluttyBeeWoman. I was on my way somewhere. I think I was going to see a band that I hated in the Meat Packing District.

Urban Outfitters had beautiful sari material on sale for $14.99 at one store. Then at another store they were $29.99 on sale. But they said they have the same prices at all the stores. Now I'm seeing a table one place for $9.99 and $19.99 at a different store. Wtf? I mean; it's a good price either way, right? I'm trying to Feng Shui my apartment and especially my bedroom, so I'm hoping to hang bright sari material draped on the walls and it also makes really great curtains.

It's now time for the Open Center, but, I have to somehow get to Urban Outfitters to buy a $19.99 table and then down to Spring Street by 6.30pm. Maybe I'll wait until tomorrow. That's what I said yesterday too. Open Center volunteering is sucking away my free time, which is probably good for my credit card bill.

I'm off to buy a black pepper chocolate "oreo" cookie from Dean & Deluca. They are so good. Little Red Hen Bakery has them too. They call them Love in the Clouds cookies.

Does forthcoming Single Awareness Day decorations disturb anyone besides me? It is everywhere! Save me! I almost want the Christmas music back.

Chilling with the Homeless

Here I am. Happy fucking Holidays! My flight yesterday was cancelled and I got very loud with my volume and my rage at the innocent flight attendant guy on the phone. He was an idiot though. His supervisor was slightly less dumb and she was "able" to get me on a flight that leaves JFK at 5:30pm tomorrow. That's more than 48 hours after my original flight. Why the fuck did I pay these people? Maybe I should get a private jet or travel exclusively with Greyhound, so I can be closer to my people.

Mama Barasch seemed fairly upset yesterday when I told her, but today she is all religion. She told me that the Lord intended for my flight to be delayed this long, so that I can have the opportunity to rest up and perhaps serve the homeless in a soup kitchen in order to spread holiday cheer. Whatever. I am actually chilling with the homeless, because they are copious at my local library where I am currently enjoying the free wireless. I do have many things I can do, such as hang the nude paintings of myself on my walls. My rooms are in need of decoration and I have not had a chance to do it since moving in to my new apartment.


Yesterday, my lunch was delayed until after 2:30pm. An old lady on the UES asked me where she could catch the bus. I told her and then took about one step in my original direction without looking where I was going. I bumped into a middle-aged lady and said "Please excuse me." in the nicest possible voice. She had a male escort who was right behind me, so I assume their plan was to knock me down in a modified human sandwich. She said, "Are you fucking crazy?" in a very unpleasant tone. I let the ho have my hunger/delta rage: "Are you fucking crazy? You have to share the fucking sidewalk!!!" I shouted and began walking away from her. Her mouth dropped open and her husband muttered "Jesus." To curb future outbursts from her, I continued with "You fucking bitch!!!" as I gave her the finger and made my escape down 2nd Avenue on my way to the burrito waiting for me at Burritoville. The burrito was 1) not a bowlrito, which I ordered. 2) contained no chicken or broccoli, which I also ordered. It still tasted pretty good.

I have a problem.

It's not just an addiction to baby carrots and kinkiness. I have a problem with legwear: tights, stockings, fishnets, knee high socks. A big problem. I also like boots. I bought a pair of red and offwhite tights today. They are not fishnets, but they do have patterned holes. I bought 2 pairs of striped socks and 1 pair polkadotted socks (from a street vendor 3 for $5). They are knee-highs. I also bought grey wool knee highs and wierd pumpkin-y yellow over the knee socks from H & M. I love H & M. This might not seem like an indulgence to you, but I have over 20 pairs of sexy knee high socks and about 87 pairs of tights/stockings and 4 garter belts. Some people call me the sock queen.

This might not seem like a "date," but if tights were boys, I would have a harem. And if H & M had a pulse I would marry it.