Chilling with the Homeless

Here I am. Happy fucking Holidays! My flight yesterday was cancelled and I got very loud with my volume and my rage at the innocent flight attendant guy on the phone. He was an idiot though. His supervisor was slightly less dumb and she was "able" to get me on a flight that leaves JFK at 5:30pm tomorrow. That's more than 48 hours after my original flight. Why the fuck did I pay these people? Maybe I should get a private jet or travel exclusively with Greyhound, so I can be closer to my people.

Mama Barasch seemed fairly upset yesterday when I told her, but today she is all religion. She told me that the Lord intended for my flight to be delayed this long, so that I can have the opportunity to rest up and perhaps serve the homeless in a soup kitchen in order to spread holiday cheer. Whatever. I am actually chilling with the homeless, because they are copious at my local library where I am currently enjoying the free wireless. I do have many things I can do, such as hang the nude paintings of myself on my walls. My rooms are in need of decoration and I have not had a chance to do it since moving in to my new apartment.


Yesterday, my lunch was delayed until after 2:30pm. An old lady on the UES asked me where she could catch the bus. I told her and then took about one step in my original direction without looking where I was going. I bumped into a middle-aged lady and said "Please excuse me." in the nicest possible voice. She had a male escort who was right behind me, so I assume their plan was to knock me down in a modified human sandwich. She said, "Are you fucking crazy?" in a very unpleasant tone. I let the ho have my hunger/delta rage: "Are you fucking crazy? You have to share the fucking sidewalk!!!" I shouted and began walking away from her. Her mouth dropped open and her husband muttered "Jesus." To curb future outbursts from her, I continued with "You fucking bitch!!!" as I gave her the finger and made my escape down 2nd Avenue on my way to the burrito waiting for me at Burritoville. The burrito was 1) not a bowlrito, which I ordered. 2) contained no chicken or broccoli, which I also ordered. It still tasted pretty good.